Monday, March 26, 2012

Day 4 - Recovery Challenge

What are factors that contributed in your choice to recover?

 Well, actually I got this random spam email. It was titled "Are you obsessed with food?" and I clicked on it. I read through the article and at the end of it, I concluded that yes, I am obsessed with food. I went to Google and read some other websites about eating disorders... facts and symptoms... and concluded that I definitely had an eating disorder. Meanwhile, I started skipping swim practice because "I had too much homework" (truthfully, it was because the water seemed miserably cold to me and the practices were unbearably hard) but after a week or so of that excuse, I told my mom that I was afraid to eat. I'm glad I have my mom because she is the only person who would listen and try to understand what I was going through. I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else about it (for a good reason, you won't believe how many people have called me crazy for having an eating disorder since then). She knew I wasn't eating the foods I enjoyed eating and I had lost some weight (not nearly as much as I really had though), but she was afraid to bring up the subject. I went to the doctor the next week and started my difficult journey through recovery. I really did miss eating certain foods, and honestly I was so miserable that I knew something wasn't normal and needed to be fixed. I was passing out, getting out of breath really easily, waking up with extremely painful leg cramps in the middle of the night, and my grades were starting to slip because I was having trouble focusing. Since November 2011, I did, sadly, get a LOT worse very quickly... but since January, I have been slowly improving. It has been a hard struggle.

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