Saturday, March 31, 2012

Day 9 - Recovery Challenge

Create a list of all the negative things your eating disorder has given you.

1. I've lost a LOT of hair... and its still falling out.
2. I've lost the few friends I had before this happened.
3. I haven't been able to make any new friends.
4. I'm really sensitive to pain, every little thing hurts really bad.
5. Depression
6. I have trouble concentrating.
7. My whole body is covered in little hairs. (Lanugo)
8. My heart is really weak, since my heart rate got down to 35. (now it is 60)
9. I have no muscles or energy.
10.  I get dizzy every time I stand up.
11. My legs cramp really bad at night.
12. My nails are so thin that they bend.
13. I'm  always cold.
14. Things that I used to enjoy aren't fun anymore.
15. I'm always restless or anxious.
16. Holidays are no fun... what is Easter without chocolate? Or Thanksgiving without pie? Or a birthday without cake?
17. My family (home) is always complete chaos.

This list could go on and on. On the bright side, after staying up all night vomiting from a stomach problem (I'm really sensitive to hormones) I didn't feel up to having oatmeal this morning... so instead I ate a bagel! Huge accomplishment for me! Especially since I am afraid of bread. But, I enjoyed it! :D

Friday, March 30, 2012

Day 8 - Recovery Challenge

Create a list of all the positive things your eating disorder has given you. (This day should be short haha.)

1. I don't judge people so quickly
2. I learned that its better to be healthy than skinny
3. I'm more positive
4. I care more about what a person is like on the inside and not so much about the outside anymore.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Day 7 - Recovery Challenge

Do you think the media contributes to the growing rate of girls developing eating disorders younger and younger?

I can see how the media can have an impact on girls getting eating disorders. They look in a magazine and see a super skinny model and think "I need to look like this to be popular/liked/attractive". For me though, if the media had any impact on my eating disorder, it was small considering there are so many other things in my life that most likely triggered my ED. I am well aware that lots of pictures in magazines are Photoshopped... but sometimes I guess I wish I had "a flat stomach like that model..." even though I know that the model's stomach isn't even that flat in real life. People have a misconception on what the "ideal female" looks like, and the ones in magazines aren't normal females. I don't believe the media contributes to girls getting eating disorders at younger and younger ages because the age I am is "prime time" for an eating disorder to occur.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 6 - Recovery Challenge

What was your favorite meal before your ED? What is your favorite meal now?

Before my eating disorder, I LOVED to eat. I definitely had a sweet tooth. Probably ice cream... Cold Stone Birthday Cake Remix Ice Cream. Or any flavor ice cream. Some other foods I used to love eating were french fries, chicken fingers, grilled cheese sandwiches, hamburgers, hotdogs, fried shrimp, anything with ketchup... salads WITH dressing... tuna sandwiches (Panera's), PB&J sandwiches, loaded baked potatoes (Outback's), garlic bread, cheese and pineapple pizza, mac n' cheese, bean burritos, Fettuccine Alfredo, bread sticks, cheese sticks... cinnamon rolls, waffles, strawberry muffins, chocolate chip pancakes drenched in syrup, french toast, jelly filled or glazed or strawberry glazed with sprinkles or chocolate donuts, cinnamon raisin bagels with cream cheese or butter, toast with jelly or butter and cinnamon sugar, biscuits, sausage... McFlurry's, frozen yogurt, chocolate chip cookies, cherry pie, strawberry pie, cookie dough or Butterfinger milkshakes, cake, brownies, toaster strudels, cherry turnovers, cherry danishes, chocolate chip cookies, fudge, Samoas girl scout cookies, Kit-kats, sugar cookies with icing, oatmeal cream pies... this list could go on forever. I used to really love food. But it was okay, because I used to exercise so much that I could eat all this food and burn it off right away... and still be normal weight. A lot of these foods - icing, anything fried, anything with bread or fat - I would be horrified to eat now, but one day I hope I will be able to eat them again without feeling bad about myself.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Day 5 - Recovery Challenge

What actions do you believe could be taken in the future to help prevent your child(ren) or close friends from ever developing an eating disorder?

First off, I do not think there should be such an emphasis on the way someone looks.  People need to understand that self worth is not based off of being "pretty" or "skinny".  I also believe that if parents have trouble with being overweight, they should NEVER advertize skipping meals and dieting in front of their children. Kids should never be taught that there are "good" foods and "bad" foods, or ever be told to lose weight by their own parents... especially if they are perfectly healthy being in normal weight range. Parents can make a huge impact on self-esteem, and they should be there to build up their child's. Parents always need to be there to listen to their child so they can express their emotions. Also, parents must not push perfection so much on their child. Failure is human, it does not make you a bad person. There is nothing wrong with not being the best. Parents need to tell their kids over and over that they are beautiful, no matter what size clothes they wear. I feel that parents need to model healthy eating for their kids to observe, but not obsess about every cookie their child eats. Parents should give their child more opportunities as they get older, because a child should NEVER feel powerless or be told "...because I'm the parent...". If a sibling EVER teases another sibling about their weight, it must be stopped immediately.

There are many triggers of an eating disorder and people need to be aware of these so they don't play a role in the factors for someone becoming anorexic or bulimic.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Day 4 - Recovery Challenge

What are factors that contributed in your choice to recover?

 Well, actually I got this random spam email. It was titled "Are you obsessed with food?" and I clicked on it. I read through the article and at the end of it, I concluded that yes, I am obsessed with food. I went to Google and read some other websites about eating disorders... facts and symptoms... and concluded that I definitely had an eating disorder. Meanwhile, I started skipping swim practice because "I had too much homework" (truthfully, it was because the water seemed miserably cold to me and the practices were unbearably hard) but after a week or so of that excuse, I told my mom that I was afraid to eat. I'm glad I have my mom because she is the only person who would listen and try to understand what I was going through. I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else about it (for a good reason, you won't believe how many people have called me crazy for having an eating disorder since then). She knew I wasn't eating the foods I enjoyed eating and I had lost some weight (not nearly as much as I really had though), but she was afraid to bring up the subject. I went to the doctor the next week and started my difficult journey through recovery. I really did miss eating certain foods, and honestly I was so miserable that I knew something wasn't normal and needed to be fixed. I was passing out, getting out of breath really easily, waking up with extremely painful leg cramps in the middle of the night, and my grades were starting to slip because I was having trouble focusing. Since November 2011, I did, sadly, get a LOT worse very quickly... but since January, I have been slowly improving. It has been a hard struggle.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Day 3 - Recovery Challenge

List 10 NON physical things you like about yourself.

1. I'm a good friend
2. I'm intelligent
3. My sense of humor
4. I'm great with animals
5. My imagination
6. I'm persistent and don't usually give up
7. My creativeness
8. I'm thoughtful
9. My uniqueness
10. I'm a good listener

After number two, this started to get hard for me. After number seven I was pretty much out of ideas. I guess this is something I need to work on.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Day 2 - Recovery Challenge

What does recovery mean to YOU?

To me, recovery means a bunch of things. It means not obsessing over calories. Eating the foods I loved to eat . . . and not feeling guilty when I eat them. It means not having to eat at the same exact time every day. Eating when I'm hungry and eating until I'm satisfied. Eating a variety of foods. Eating at restaurants. Being confident about myself and the way I look. Not listening to any negative comments people make about me. It means being able to focus again. Not getting stressed out in social situations that involve food. Not obsessing over my weight. Being able to exercise again and enjoy it without calculating the number of calories I burned. Looking in the mirror and NOT obsessing over NATURAL "fat" areas of my body. Not comparing myself to other people. And finally, enjoying life again.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Day 1 - Recovery Challenge

 List your stats (height/weight). What eating disorder are/have you struggled with?

Usually I don't feel comfortable sharing my weight with people, but since I am taking this challenge...
and my weight is constantly changing, but it was 100.5 on Tuesday (3/20/12). My height is 5'2'. I have anorexia.

Recovery Challenge

Over the next 30 days, I will be answering one of these questions a day. I found this on an inspiring Recovery website and decided to take the challenge.
Recovery Challenge
Days:
1. List your stats (height/weight). What eating disorder are/have you struggled with?
2. What does recovery mean to YOU?
3. List 10 NON physical things you like about yourself.
4. What are factors that contributed in your choice to recover?
5. What actions do you believe could be taken in the future to help prevent your child(ren) or close friends from ever developing an eating disorder?
6. What was your favorite meal before your ED? What is your favorite meal now?
7. Do you think the media contributes to the growing rate of girls developing eating disorders younger and younger?
8. Create a list of all the positive things your eating disorder has given you. (This day should be short haha.)
9. Create a list of all the negative things your eating disorder has given you.
10. Does anyone in your close family have an eating disorder? If so, do you think it had an impact on you developing one?
11. List 10 PHYSICAL features you like about yourself.
12. Post a picture of 1 thing you ate today.
13. Do you believe you can ever fully recover from an eating disorder? Explain.
14. How do your friends and family feel about your eating disorder?
15. Post a picture of you before you ever developed an eating disorder. What emotions were you feeling in this picture? Describe your picture.
16. How would you help a close friend or family member if they developed an eating disorder?
17. What does being fat TRULY mean to you?
18. Here’s a challenge. Come up with a hobby you’ve never done or haven’t done in awhile that has NOTHING to do with eating or exercising or cooking. Totally non eating disorder related. What is your hobby? Why did you chose it?
19. Has your eating disorder ever held you back from something? If so, explain.
20. I feel eating disorders have somehow been glamorized. Explain your opinion on this.
21. Who has been the biggest contributor of your recovery in your life? Explain.
22. Describe your goals for your future.
23. List 2 positive things that happened to you today.
24. Where were you in terms of your eating disorder 6 months ago? Describe how you’ve changed.
25. What are your ‘fear foods’? I CHALLENGE you to eat one today. Dare you. Do it.
26. Eating disorders often come hand in hand with social anxiety and or depression. Start 1 conversation today with someone you don’t normally speak to. How did it go?
27. Create a letter of everything you would write to your eating disorder as if it were a real life person.
28. What do you need to improve on in order to advance mentally and or physically towards recovery? Explain how you plan on actually moving forward with these goals!
29. Challenge yourself again in some way today. Whether it be being more social, eating more, eating another fear food, etc. Explain.
30. List your stats again. Did this help you at all?
January 2012. Powered by Blogger.