Day 16 - Recovery Challenge

How would you help a close friend or family member if they developed an eating disorder?

I would make sure they were getting all the medical help they needed. I would willingly offer any kind of help that person needed to make sure they were doing okay. I would do everything I could not to promote an eating disorder... talk about weight, food, negative body images, etc. I would support this person and be there for them if they ever needed to talk. And, I would be willing to make any adjustments/changes to my life if the person needed it.

Day 15 - Recovery Challenge

Post a picture of you before you ever developed an eating disorder. What emotions were you feeling in this picture? Describe your picture.

 This was Spring Break 2011. I was on a Royal Caribbean cruise with my family. My mom and I went to the beach together. We were eating lunch. I don't remember exactly what I got to eat, but it looks like watermelon and a piece of chocolate cake were left on my plate. Of course, I know I ate a lot more than that before this picture was taken. I chose this picture because I know I didn't have any sort of eating disorder at this time.
I was going to pick a picture from my trip to Wyoming in August 2011 (right before my eating disorder occurred) but I felt I was not eating normal at the time, so I guess my eating disorder had already started by then. I had lost a few pounds, but not much. I was still eating a variety of foods, but not quite as much as before.
In this picture, I this was me at normal weight. A competitive swimmer. Before I lost 23 pounds. (I've gained back about 10 at the moment) Eating whatever I wanted... when I was hungry. My brother had been harassing me about my weight for a long time. It was just starting to bother me. I hadn't really even thought of the idea that if I ate less, I would be skinnier. I didn't even think I could get fat though... when I looked at pictures of me at this time, I thought "If I could just lose weight I'd have more friends. I'd be happier. I'd be prettier. People would like me more. I'd look better in my clothes. I'd have a boyfriend. etc..."
Well, now I realize none of that is true. Losing weight has made me have no friends, always angry and never happy, uglier (in many ways), and I look worse in my clothes (they're practically sliding off of me now).

Day 14 - Recovery Challenge

How do your friends and family feel about your eating disorder?

I don't have very many friends, and only one really knows about it. She doesn't quite understand anything about my eating disorder at all, so sometimes it's frustrating to talk to her, even though I really appreciate her listening to what I have to say. As for my family, my mom is my biggest supporter. She will do pretty much anything for me to recover. She understands it the most. My dad thinks I'm crazy and can't understand why I don't eat. He doesn't have much tolerance for anything. My brother is angry because it takes attention away from his "perfect little life" and people are paying more attention to me. I don't think my dad or brother want to understand my eating disorder or will ever try to understand it. My mom's parents are extremely worried about me. They frequently email and call me to check on me. (Since their daughter had an eating disorder and passed away, I can understand why they are so concerned.) As for my dad's side of the family, they know I have an eating disorder, but they don't bother to spend their time checking up on me. I never talk to them, and they probably all have the same opinion about me that my dad does... that I'm crazy...

Day 13 - Recovery Challenge

Do you believe you can ever fully recover from an eating disorder? Explain.

I want to believe that I can fully recover. It will take a long time and won't be easy, but I hope I can recover. I think I will be able to eat a variety of foods, but I'm not sure if it's possible for me to ever eat a food without looking at the nutrition facts first. I hope it is possible, and I also hope I will continue to eat healthy foods while also being able to enjoy desserts. But I don't think I will ever be able to stuff my face with desserts like I used to do sometimes. I hope that one day I will be able to look in the mirror without seeing every flaw too.

Day 12 - Recovery Challenge

Post a picture of 1 thing you ate today.

 I had my usual bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. But... I got carried away with my photography so I uploaded a few more pictures of some of what I ate today.

Granny Smith Apple and Kiwi

Kiwis always look amazing when you hold them up to the light.

 

 I love Chobani Greek Yogurt.

Day 11 - Recovery Challenge

List 10 PHYSICAL features you like about yourself.

1. My teeth (I just got my braces off)
2. My fair skin.
3. My eyes.
4. My hands

Hmmm..... I'm out of things that I like about myself. This shows my confidence...

Day 10 - Recovery Challenge

Does anyone in your close family have an eating disorder? If so, do you think it had an impact on you developing one?

My aunt, on my mom's side of the family had an eating disorder as an adult, but I don't think it had much impact on me because she died when I was around six years old. I was too young to pay attention to how she ate the few times I saw her. On my dad's side of the family, they are almost all compulsive over-eaters. They become overweight and practically starve themselves to lose it quickly. Then overeat and gain it back right away. They'll eat/snack when they aren't hungry at all. They frequently talk about their weight, diet, and "good/bad food". Technically not an eating disorder, but not a healthy relationship with food. Sometimes I feel that this is what gives me a fear that I might one day have a lack of self control of what I eat and end up overweight.